Tuesday, April 30, 2013

A Different Kind of DIY

Yes, it’s been awhile between posts. The past month has been funky, sad. Wasn’t even sure if I would be back to the blog, or anything else I love doing for that matter. Let me explain…a month ago my Momma passed away. She had cancer. The week before she passed I was able to make the trip back home to see her in the hospital. There have been so many different emotions being processed in my world since then and it all hit home when  I had closure by going back to help Daddy clean out some things and bring home some family heirloom pieces. It was surreal to be in my childhood home without her. The same week our youngest daughter finished up high school…and that’s when it hit the hardest that Momma is really gone. She was the first one I wanted to call. That was week before last.
All last week I thought about this post I’m doing today, oscillating between writing it/not writing it. Honestly I had lost interest in doing most everything I truly love doing. Normalcy just didn’t appeal to me. Realizing it is okay to grieve but not okay to get stuck in the grieving process has me working my way back to myself, my life. Now I’m looking forward toward the new normal I will find my life to be, though, I’m still not all that sure what that will look like. Two big life events plus being the keeper of heirlooms now has altered my priorities. Maybe I should shut down “Twice Loved Treasures” all together. Maybe I should make some changes with it and go in a newer direction, closer to what I’m most passionate about. One thing I am certain about is that this life I’ve still got left to live is the most significant DIY project ever!
Part of this DIY project is the decision to live with family heirlooms that reveal part of who I am. Not to hide them away in a box, as this Christening gown has been.
In ninety-five years it has only seen the light of day as thirteen different family members were baptized in infancy. My great, great grandmother made it for her daughter (my great grandmother). Other wearers include my grandmother, mother, and me. As the current guardian, I am choosing to display it in our home relishing in the connection I feel to past generations whom I have not yet met. I wonder what Grandma Merckling would say if she knew the “sewing gene” was alive and well within me…ninety-five years and four generations later. Be encouraged, Dear One, to do the same…if you have an heirloom piece figure out the best way for you to live with it. If it is just stuck in a box in a closet it has been reduced to being merely clutter. Live with the connection to your past, should you have a good, positive one!
As I am moving toward the other side of grief I have been so blessed with a friend who has just listened to me. On the flip side, one of the least helpful friends is one who has simply sent me Scriptures on healing. PLEASE, PLEASE HEAR MY HEART ON THIS MATTER: Jesus IS more essential than the air I breathe and He IS the One who brings true healing. Without Him I’d be a hopeless basket case. But what I and anyone else out there in the process of grieving needs is a Godly friend who listens and then goes to God in prayer for our broken heart to be healed. Just giving Scripture on God healing the brokenhearted doesn’t get very far when the person grieving in in the anger stage. The friend who listens and prays the Scripture(s) FOR the grieving person brings us much farther along this path than they know.  So…Dear Reader…the point I’m making is this: when your time comes to help a friend through the process of grief, please, please, please understand that what they need is someone to listen and pray those Scriptures FOR them until the day comes that they are able to then claim those Scriptures for themselves. Remember the story in the OT when Moses needed help in holding his arms up? (Ex 17:8-13) Aaron and Hur didn’t tell him all about God being the source of strength, instead, they held up Moses’ arms for him. Be that source of God’s strength for your friend in need. With your help they WILL get to the side of healing through the power and love of Jesus!
Whew! I should have forewarned y’all that this would be lengthy. Thank you so very much for reading along. In the end, as I struggled with being so real and open, my hope is that somehow, somewhere there is another who finds encouragement during a funky season of life. It can be so difficult when we find ourselves here for the first time. Momma is the first person I’m losing who I’ve been close enough to to miss so dearly. It has been an unchartered course for me, however, I know that one day grief will be completely in my rear-view mirror as I live out my different kind of DIY project…the rest of my life! I pray you, Precious Reader, chooses to do the same, making your life your most important DIY project ever!
Much love and blessings ~Betsy


  1. Amen! I couldn't have said it better myself. Praying for you girl.


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